1996 Season, Special 2
Another Red Green special, this one about male culture around the area, as seen in various clips of past episodes of the show.
Cast (in order of appearance): Red Green, Bill Smith, Harold Green, Dalton Humphrey, Winston Rothschild, Bob Stuyvesant, Max Smith, Glen Brachston, Mike Hamar, Buzz Sherwood, Dougie Franklin
Segments: Adventures With Bill, Handyman Corner, The Experts, Red's Advice To Teenagers, Buddy System, The Possum Lodge Word Game, Midlife, Men Anonymous, Possum 911
DVD: We Can't Help It, We're Men
Transcript[]
Opening[]
{Red enters a workshop.}
RED GREEN: Hey, I'm Red Green, and this here's my workshop. I come in here a fair bit, actually. You know, a man needs a place to go from time to time where he can make mistakes in private. 'Cause most of the time, we're out there in the world where people can hear what we say and watch what we do. That's what leads to some problems. Now, I'm not saying all men are like that, I'm just talking about the bunch of us who are wrong, but not in doubt. That's really what this special here is all about; it's kind of an educational thing, hoping to lead to a higher understanding, you know, between the sexes. What I'm saying is, it's just basically a huge apology. That's why we called it "We Can't Help It, We're Men".
Title sequence[]
{Bill is seen in a middle of a ring, dressed in a karate outfit. He jumps to, and over, a wooden board held by Red and Harold. He lands with a rope between his knees. The rope pulls like a rubber band and then flings him back to the board. He flies back to hit on his head the board. It breaks in half. The words "We can't help it" appears on the screen, to the sound of an offscreen man yelling a Tarzan yell and crashing. At this time, Bill falls on his face. The man offscreen is heard crying. Under the first set of words is another, much smaller, set of words saying, "We're men". Red and Harold places the broken pieces of wood over Bill's head like a cross.}
Featured scenes[]
Listed below are all the scenes featured in this special, along with the episodes from whence they originated, in whole or in tandem.
| Episode | Scene |
|---|---|
| Floating Church | Adventures With Bill |
| The Science Fair | Handyman Corner |
| X Marks The Spot | The Experts |
| Water Tower | Red's Advice To Teenagers |
| The Lost Dog | Buddy System |
| Bottled Water | The Possum Lodge Word Game |
| The Drill | Adventures With Bill |
| The Elvis Sighting | Quality Time |
| Magnetic Lake | The Experts |
| The Tax Refund | Midlife |
| Lake Regulations | The Experts |
| The Science Fair | The Possum Lodge Word Game |
| Men's Night On The Mountain | Buddy System |
| The Retirement Home | Handyman Corner |
| The Baseball Tryouts | Men Anonymous |
| The Lost Dog | The Possum Lodge Word Game |
| The Satellite Dish | Red's Handyman Tips |
| The New Shirt/Casino | The Experts |
| Sedgwick The Thief | Midlife |
| Sedgwick The Tenant | Possum 911 |
| Floating Church | The Experts |
| The New Doctor | Adventures With Bill |
| The Treasure Hunt | Handyman Corner |
| He-Man Contest | Handyman Corner |
| The Putter Attack | Handyman Corner |
| Job Security | Handyman Corner |
| The Tanks We Get | Handyman Corner |
| Animals In The Attic | Handyman Corner |
| The Love Boat | Handyman Corner |
| The Baseball Tryouts | Adventures With Bill |
| The Cement Load | The Possum Lodge Word Game |
| The Drill | Men Anonymous |
| The Baseball Tryouts | Adventures With Bill |
| The Love Boat | Possum 911 |
| The Science Fair | Midlife |
| Homemade Cheese | Buddy System |
| The Driving Lesson | The Experts |
| Maxi Golf | Handyman Corner |
| The Church Casino | Adventures With Bill |
| The Beef Project | Buddy System |
| The Electrical Project | Midlife |
| Green Green | Handyman Corner |
| The Firewood Project | Buddy System |
| Homemade Cheese | Midlife |
Closing[]
{Red is again seen at the workshop near the end of the special. He is putting duct tape onto a chair made out of copper pipes.}
RED GREEN: Well, I hope you enjoyed that, and I hope you learned something if you're a woman, and I hope it didn't depress you if you're a guy. It shouldn't, 'cause when you look below the surface, most guys are just dreamers looking for a little fun in life. Is that so bad? Eh? Where would we be without dreamers and zesty fun-seekers? Well, we'd be bored. And we get into even more trouble when we're bored. So you guys just keep having fun and don't hurt yourselves. Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.
{The screen fades to black. The credits roll. After the credits, cut to the show information, showing the phone number and website URL of www.redgreen.com.}
RED GREEN: {voiceover} To join Possum Lodge or to get yourself some Possum Lodge merchandise, call 1-800-YPOSSUM. Or if you're a techno-geek, check out Harold's home page on the Internet.
{Click here to view the credits}
Fun Facts[]
Trivia[]
- This episode is the second special involving clips of the show, after The Best of Red Green.