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5th Season, Episode 99 (Transcript | Credits)
The Driving Test Ep. Guide Father and Son Banquet

A new lodge member?

Red installs a satellite dish in the lodge, causing everyone to become glued to the television set.

Cast (in order of appearance): Harold Green, Red Green, Bill Smith, Bob Stuyvesant, Ranger Gord, Moose Thompson (mentioned), Winston Rothschild, Buzz Sherwood, Junior Singleton (mentioned), Dougie Franklin

DVD: Red Green: Stuffed and Mounted, Vol. 4

Watch the episode on YouTube

DVD Commentary by Steve Smith[]

{from Stuffed and Mounted}

STEVE SMITH: You know, people ask me where we get the inspiration for the things in our show. I'm not sure that "inspiration" is the right word. I think "desperation" comes closer. Uh, but it comes from everywhere. I was riding in a friend's car, and he had a little two-year-old... son or daughter or whatever, uh, sitting in one of those seats with {makes driving motions with his hands} the little things with these make-believe steering wheels and the gear shift and everything. This was back in the days before anyone had a car accident. And, uh, boy, I thought, I, uh, I actually envied the kid; I wanted these things. And I thought even now, if I had to be a passenger in a vehicle, I'd be a lot happier if I had one of those pretend... you know. So then I thought, well, maybe we could exaggerate that and you could have one of those in your house, sitting in your living room. That'd be kind of fun, but then, why would you be driving your car watching TV? Then I thought, if we connect it to the TV somehow, and to the VCR, then there'd be a legitimate reason, and I'd think that your wife would be far less critical of something that is maybe not as attractive as some of the other living room... accessories. Anyway, you try it in your house and see how it goes. Don't call me.

Segment Summary[]

See also: Transcript

Opening Words: Women are watching the world. Men are watching television.

Plot: While walking around downtown, Red has seen a new satellite dish for sale, but instead of buying it, he makes his own, out of the roof of a corn silo. Red constructs a motorized unit to switch from satellite to satellite to get lots of channels. He then decides to use garage doors to hide the dish until ready. Later, however, thanks to the satellite dish, more and more lodge members become so glued to the TV that Red starts to have second thoughts about the whole deal. Harold offers to make them stop, only to become glued to the TV himself. But when something goes wrong with the satellite beam and they lose the picture, Red couldn't be happier that things will soon be back to normal.

Adventures With Bill: Bill uses drainpipes and a TV antenna to make a giant pogo stick.

The Possum Lodge Word Game: Bob tries to guess the word "marriage" to win a free ice cream cone with any purchase of a scoop of ice cream from the House of Vanilla.

Red's Campfire Songs: There are many things your head can do.

Visit With Ranger Gord: Gord is making his very own brand of coffee.

Handyman Corner: Red combines the experiences of driving and watching TV by making a man-sized TV remote control out of the dashboard of a wrecked car.

Midlife: Hints that you may be middle-aged.

Buddy System: Red and Winston explain some golden rules to avoid trouble from women.

Visit With Buzz Sherwood: Buzz looks for the instructions for his all-terrain vehicle.

Red's Handyman Tips: Red shows how to start each new project with a clean workspace.

The Experts: Dougie explains to a viewer how to win back his girlfriend.

Fun Facts[]


  • Alimony denotes a legal obligation to provide financial support to one's spouse from the other spouse after marital separation or from the ex-spouse upon divorce.

Inside References[]

  • Red made a satellite dish by lining a patio umbrella with foil chip bags in the Handyman Corner segment of Cross the Lake Race, but that one blew away.
  • The TV in the Handyman Corner segment shows a clip from "Car Pool", from Season 3.
  • Bill pulls a hacksaw and some bungee cords out of his pants.

Real-World References[]

  • Turner Broadcasting System, or TBS, is a prominent cable television network in the United States.
  • Thunderbirds is a British TV show from the mid-1960s, using marionette puppetry for characters.
  • Gilligan's Island is an American TV sitcom involving the misadventures of a two-man crew of a small boat and their five passengers who wind up stranded on a desert island after a storm drives them off their course for a three-hour tour.
  • Wheel of Fortune is an American game show, created by Merv Griffin. Harold mentions buying a vowel, which refers to contestants being able to spend their prize money to "buy" vowel letters to help them solve the puzzle.
  • E.R. is an Emmy Award-winning American medical drama series that aired on NBC from 1994 to 2009.
  • Best of Celebrity Circus may be a reference to Circus of the Stars, an annual television special that aired from 1977 to 1994, featuring various movie and television celebrities performing circus acts.
  • Models Inc. was a short-lived American prime time drama, about the titular modeling agency, located in Los Angeles.
  • Lassie is a famous TV show that aired from 1954 to 1973, featuring a collie dog as the titular character.
  • Harold mentions several TV shows in the Star Trek universe: the original series (1966 to 1969), The Next Generation (1987 to 1994) and Voyager (1995 to 2001).
  • In the Adventures With Bill segment, Red quotes a common version of Sir Isaac Newton's laws of motion: "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

Famous People[]

  • Ranger Gord claims to have seen the following actresses in the clouds: