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''{Red opens the bathecue lid, revealing different foods being cooked in it: hamburgers on the left, chicken on the right, and several hot dogs hanging on a rod above by shower curtain rings. Red props the lid open with the curtain rod.}''
'''RED GREEN:''' Look at that! Is that beautiful or what? You got the hot dogs on there. Over here, of course, we got our chicken. ''{takes a spatula, removes a burger and puts it on a bun}'' By golly, I think you know everybody loves a burger, don't they? Either plain or... Hey, let's gotgo first class here and throw a hunk of cheese on there. ''{puts a slice of cheese on the burger}'' By golly! ''{chuckles; takes the shampoo bottle of ketchup and puts it on the burger}'' We got our condiments in this area here, and I'll tell ya something... ''{puts the other bun on the burger}'' you gotta remember, if the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy. ''{holds up burger}'' Look at that, there's an American standard.
===Midlife===