Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services is the company wholly owned and operated by Winston Rothschild. Its sole purpose is to pump out septic tanks in the Possum Lake region. Winston spends most of his time on The Red Green Show promoting this business almost any way he can, whether via direct advertisements interspersed throughout the show, or by slipping in a catchphrase or slogan during other segments. Over the course of the show, Winston's ads gradually evolve from simple direct ads to elaborate parodies of then-current popular Canadian advertising campaigns.
"There once was a young man from Turkey/Whose septics were plugged up and murky./They blamed it on lead/From the pipes in the bed/When the culprit was too much beef jerky."
"When you get the news that your septics have the ooze and it's giving you the blues and getting on your shoes, call me, Winston, and I'll put it back in cruise."
"Love means never having to see your sewage."
Season 11[]
Episode
Summary
Gladiator
"When it smells so bad it curls your toes, and soon it gets into your hair and your clothes, don't stand out front, holding your nose, get me out back, holding my hose!"
"If you come to sit down to dinner and there's a nine-inch flame on your candle, you better get your septics pumped out, or you'll have more on your plate than you can handle!"
"When the fumes have melted your patio chairs 'cause your lawn is a toxic spill, when your breathe it burns all your nostril hairs and makes your pet skunk ill, when your septics have you at the end of your rope, call us, the people with skill. With Rothschild's, you know you always have hope, 'cause we can take it, and we will!"
"When your septics go bad, there's no one to blame. No need to apologize or cower in shame. Call for a pump-out; Rothschild's the name. It beats losing your home in a huge purple flame."
"It's cabbage season."
Something In The Heir
"You'd better call Rothschild's Sewage today, 'cause that soggy mess is here to stay. Whatever goes up, comes down, they say. But whatever goes down doesn't always go away."
"For city folks, there's public works. For everyone else, there's Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services."
"When you're hit with an aroma that buckles your knees, and your property smells like prehistoric cheese, call us, we'll handle the problem with ease, before your neighbors keel over with each passing breeze."
"If your ground seems unusually soft, if each time you breathe, you let out a cough, if the cows roll their eyes and barf in the trough, better call Rothschild's before the lid blows off."
Harold's Dilemma
"I love sucking sewage; it suits my style. I'd rather be in sewage than live in denial." (heard in the Word Game)
"People sometimes call me a chump. They say I'm too small to handle a dump. But I can suck up any size lump. It's not the length of the hose, it's the strength of the pump."
"If your home is starting to smell like a barn, and you're a thousand miles from the nearest farm, call before the stink does any more harm. Don't wait 'til it sets off the smoke alarm!"
"When your septics need cleaning 'cause they smell unkempt, it happens to everyone; no one's exempt. Call your friends at Rothschild's. We hold no contempt. We'll suck out your sewage, or die in the attempt."
"May your septics never cause you a tear. May they handle your chili beans, bratwurst and beer. May your tank run on empty throughout the new year. But if not, my pump and my hose are right here."
"You always get your septics pumped. Your tank's as clear as a bell! But be sure your neighbor gets his done, too, or you'll be a victim of second-hand smell."
"If something's coming down your chimney, and it ain't Santa, call me."
"Looking for that last-minute stocking stuffer? How about sewage? Introducing a gift certificate for one free pump-out for your favorite loved one! It's the gift that keeps on sucking."
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