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Red's Poetry is a recurring side segment on The Red Green Show in which Red reads a short story that he's either written himself or based on a writing by a more famous author. Red is always pictured by himself outdoors, in a variety of weather conditions: Hot sun, pouring rain, heavy snow. It doesn't matter.

This segment ran from the first to sixth seasons.

Poems Themed To Seasons[]

Spring Hopes Eternal[]

Episode Subject
Gun Powder Shakes Tadpoles
Jet Ski I Am As Old As The Lodge Roof
The Four-Man Raft Plucking flower petals

Endless Summer[]

Episode Subject
Wind-Powered Boat The beach
Eating salad
Jet Ski No Water
The Bad Check-Up Two men arm-wrestling
The Tanks We Get Expansion from heat
Green Green Guarding a pool

The Harder the Fall[]

Episode Subject
Jet Ski Sky Is Full Of Birds
The Sing Along Machine One last time
The Broken Water Pump The opening of hunting season

The Winter of Our Discount Tent[]

Episode Subject
The Big Inboard Kids in winter
A toboggan accident
He-Man Contest A snowball with a puppy in it
A dog accidentally put in a fireplace in place of a log
Gun Powder Shakes Sleigh riding for $100 an hour
Jet Ski The Joys Of Winter
Maple Syrup Cousin Jerry who makes snow angels
Car Pool A frozen willow tree
The Spawning Grounds Hibernating animals
Magnetic Lake Fights in hockey
Underground Parking Sledding
The Tanks We Get Freezing during a sleigh ride
Fire Brigade Santa Claus getting electrocuted
Biosphere Three Red coming home from a Christmas party with garlic on him

Poems Written[]

Season 4[]

Episode Subject Author
The Owl Project Figure skating Red Green
The Beer Project Tiny shoots Red Green
The Badger Project Potholes Red Green
The Ski & Golf Project Putting in the dock Red Green

Season 6[]

Episode Subject Author
Sedgwick the Tenant Red Green version of "The Force That Through the Green Fuse Drives the Flower" Dylan Thomas Green
The Petting Zoo Red Green version of "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" T.S. Eliot and R.S. Green

Season 8[]

Episode Subject Author
It's A Wonderful Red Green Christmas Red Green version of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" N/A