Red's Poetry is a recurring side segment on The Red Green Show in which Red reads a short story that he's either written himself or based on a writing by a more famous author. Red is always pictured by himself outdoors, in a variety of weather conditions: Hot sun, pouring rain, heavy snow. It doesn't matter.
This segment ran from the first to sixth seasons.
Poems Themed To Seasons[]
Spring Hopes Eternal[]
| Episode | Subject |
|---|---|
| Gun Powder Shakes | Tadpoles |
| Jet Ski | I Am As Old As The Lodge Roof |
| The Four-Man Raft | Plucking flower petals |
Endless Summer[]
| Episode | Subject |
|---|---|
| Wind-Powered Boat | The beach |
| Eating salad | |
| Relaxation | |
| Jet Ski | No Water |
| The Bad Check-Up | Two men arm-wrestling |
| The Tanks We Get | Expansion from heat |
| Green Green | Guarding a pool |
The Harder the Fall[]
| Episode | Subject |
|---|---|
| Jet Ski | Sky Is Full Of Birds |
| The Sing Along Machine | One last time |
| The Broken Water Pump | The opening of hunting season |
| The Retirement Home | Music as a metaphor for love |
The Winter of Our Discount Tent[]
| Episode | Subject |
|---|---|
| The Big Inboard | Kids in winter |
| A toboggan accident | |
| He-Man Contest | A snowball with a puppy in it |
| A dog accidentally put in a fireplace in place of a log | |
| Gun Powder Shakes | Sleigh riding for $100 an hour |
| Jet Ski | The Joys Of Winter |
| Maple Syrup | Cousin Jerry who makes snow angels |
| Car Pool | A frozen willow tree |
| The Spawning Grounds | Hibernating animals |
| Magnetic Lake | Fights in hockey |
| Underground Parking | Sledding |
| The Tanks We Get | Freezing during a sleigh ride |
| Fire Brigade | Santa Claus getting electrocuted |
| Biosphere Three | Red coming home from a Christmas party with garlic on him |
Poems Written[]
Season 4[]
| Episode | Subject | Author |
|---|---|---|
| The Owl Project | Figure skating | Red Green |
| The Beer Project | Tiny shoots | Red Green |
| The Badger Project | Potholes | Red Green |
| The Ski & Golf Project | Putting in the dock | Red Green |
| The Catfish Project | Winter warmth | Red Green |
| Mating season | Red Green |
Season 6[]
| Episode | Subject | Author |
|---|---|---|
| Sedgwick the Tenant | Red Green version of "The Force That Through the Green Fuse Drives the Flower" | Dylan Thomas Green |
| The Petting Zoo | Red Green version of "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" | T.S. Eliot and R.S. Green |
Season 8[]
| Episode | Subject | Author |
|---|---|---|
| It's A Wonderful Red Green Christmas | Red Green version of "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" | N/A |