Midlife

Midlife (also known as Red's Sage Advice, and North of Forty) is one of the longest-running segments on The Red Green Show, debuting in Season 4 and running until the end of the series. Each segment features Red sitting at a desk in the lodge, discussing some aspect of life with the audience. He usually addresses older or married men, but sometimes instead talks to teenagers and young adults. Topics vary widely and include "Apologizing to your wife", "Don't get mad, get even", and "How to avoid becoming an old geezer". Generally, each segment ends with the camera pulling back from Red as he says "Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together." The most notable exception occurs in the Season 6 episode The House Raising, where Red's nephew Harold fills in for him to advise older men on telling their favorite stories in a way that doesn't annoy younger people. He ends with his own take on Red's catchphrase: "Remember, you're on your own. Don't push it."

Other exceptions include Guinness World Records, where Red ends by saying "Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all getting even together", and School Bus Blimp, where he cuts off his tagline with "Forgot what I was going to say." Other similar segments include Buddy System, in which two Lodge members trade off in giving rapid-fire advice to men facing trouble in their relationships, and Red's Advice to Teenagers, in which he talks more specifically to teenagers about life issues while walking around outside in a raincoat.

Topics

Season 4

Episode	Story
The Beef Project	Why not to say anything when you have nothing to say
The Hydrogen Project	Why not to get eyeglasses
The Badger Project	The whereabouts of Red's generation's music
The Electrical Project	Why older men should leave their shirts on
The Marine Show Project	Revising one's dreams to something more realistic
The Ski & Golf Project	Clues that your body is changing
The Rustproofing Project	You have been invited to play bridge
The Movie Project	Couples who have been married a long time
The Painted Leaves Project	How to tell when you are about to lose your job
The Stuck Truck Project	About losing your sex drive
The Group Photo Project	Why you now feel tired all the time
The Mt. Rushmore Project	If you've just turned 50

Season 5

Episode	Story
The Satellite Dish	Hints that you may be middle-aged
Father and Son Banquet	How to respond to your wife getting you new clothes
The New Doctor	How not to drive like your dad
Medieval Times	Why do young women start flirting with you?
Possum Lodge Radio	You can barely keep your eyes open and it's only 8:30!
Sedgwick the Thief	When you suddenly have new neighbors
The Cement Load	A word about.....memory loss
The Gas Shortage	When you discover you have wrinkles
The Lost Dog	How to enjoy hobbies without sharing your toys with your kids
One Man's Garbage	On trying to look young again
Bottled Water	Why not to date your old girlfriend
The Not-Chicken Franchise	Still looking good
Homemade Cheese	Middle-aged men know everything

Season 6

Episode	Story
The Science Fair	Why men don't ask for directions when lost
Sedgwick The Tenant	How men fix everything with duct tape
The Driving Lesson	The truth about wisdom and how to fake it
The Tax Refund	Your wife's urge to have that one more child
No Church	Motivation towards diet and exercise
Good Goverment	Enjoy yourself now rather than wait for retirement
The Poker Game	Give your kids good advice
The Drill	When your husband has nothing to show for his whole life
Bernice's Birthday	If you're thinking about getting re-married
The Church Casino	Becoming a step-dad for the first time
The Love Boat	On realizing you don't know everything
The Girlfriend	About signing up for baseball at your age
The New Lease	Scary thoughts in the middle of the night
The Baseball Tryouts	Your friends are starting to look old
30 Minutes or Free	Red talks about self-help books
Fund Raiser	You can't control what people say about you after you're dead
Real Estate	The seven stages of parking

Season 7

Episode	Story
Running Of The Bulls	How men and women see relationships differently
Swiss It Up	How to use your inheritance to get favors
The Implosion	How problems can be solved with pills
Adopt-A-Highway	The fact that everyone around you (except you) is an idiot
The Strange Ranger	Improving yourself through shortcuts instead of a self-help guru
Big Guy Little Guy	How to out-talk a woman by just saying "Yes, dear"
The Movie	A correlation between loud music and new music
Expropriation	When to go back to church
The Stool Pigeons	Modern art
Celebrity	Making split decisions
Let Me Count The Ways	Replacing tools with future heirlooms
Pardi Gras	Your new boss who is younger than you
The Splinter Lodge	Things changing
The Good Old Hockey Game	Why not to worry when people are angry
Step Outside	Romance and temperatures
The Town Mall	Sharing feelings

Season 8

Episode	Story
Harold's Leaving	How to foil your wife's urge to make you over
House Moving	When you get old, you can start telling the truth
Neither Rain Nor Sleet	How to deal with new technology
The Cult Visit	"Your body is your home. If it suits you, why renovate?"
College Life	Territorial behavior in the parking lot
Free Apricots	Tools and friendship
The Mayor Race	Being an outcast, standing tall, alone, and apologizing for it
Better To Give Than Receive	How to apologize to your wife
Town Services Contract	Getting unusual soap as a present
It's A Wonderful Red Green Christmas	"Is there a Santa Claus?"
Life Cycle	Why to get eyeglasses
Mad About You	How to tell a war story when you don't have one
Bingo Was His Name	How to recover from missing a special occasion

Season 9

Episode	Story
Harold's Job	Marriage problems
The Fishing Derby	"Watch this"
The Bachelor Auction	Men getting chest implants
Angel	Your kids as future caregivers
School Bus Blimp	"I forgot what I was going to say"
Coup De Grass	Getting in trouble for trying to help out
Rent A Wreck	Why not to get facelifts
Curse Of The Mummy	Why not to fix anything that is broken
Roll Out The Barrels	Men trying to find names in the obituary
No Retreat	Men over the age of 45 should not expect much from their bodies
The Battle Call	What to do when a woman asks "Do I look old?"
Hurricane Doug	When not to say anything
Guinness World Records	"Don't get mad, get even"
The Auto Club	Conspicuous consumption

Season 10

Episode	Story
Sausage Envy	Difference between the way men and women shop
Foster Child	Arguing
What A Dump	The risks middle-aged men take
Winston's Wedding	Technology
Man Of The Year	Picking the right friend for heavy-lifting projects
Survivor	Selectively losing your senses
Historic Site	Memory loss
Twinning	Turning out like your parents
Lunar Eclipse	Staring at stuff
Barter Starter	Superpowers
Out Of The Woods	The description of a junk junkie
Cheap Jeep	When you should keep your mouth shut
DNA All The Way	The law of diminishing returns
Who Wants To Be A Smart Guy	Wives making lists
The Beaver Dam	How to have good manners and how bad manners will be in the future
The Dandruff Foundation	How chemistry and testosterone are the main components of men
Damn You Emu	Why not to ask for help on a project
No Duct Tape	Men and women's views of parties

Season 11

Episode	Story
New Job In Town	Your wife says you have too much junk in the garage
Gladiator	Make yourself look "good for your age" with a fake I.D.
The Whooping Crane	When a couple stops to ask for directions
Back To Nature	A word about self-confidence and people skills
Dalton's Hot Gift	Even tough guys can be crippled by a cold
Viva Las Possums	A word about men's magazines and women's opinion of them
Y2 Cans	Your friends are starting to sound like old geezers
The Ghost Of Possum Lodge	When you start talking to yourself
The Chainsaw Races	Lessons you need to learn as a married man
Something In The Heir	Taking care of your parents
Daredevil	The temptation to quit and try something new
Mike Goes Straight	A use for ugly, unflattering pictures of yourself
Xmas In July	Success and failure
The Fishing Derby	Some thoughts on having a successful marriage
Harold's Dilemma	A word about stupid and careless drivers
Red Green Does New Years	The midnight kiss

Season 12

Episode	Story
Go Fish	A word about getting older
The Possum Ponderosa	Men are naturally untidy
Possum Air	Don't try exploring the wilderness at your age
The I.Q. Test	If you're thinking about changing careers
The Day Of The Sunflowers	If you haven't taken very good care of your body
Reality Television	A word about cellular phones
Possum Lake Provincial Park	"When does middle-age begin?"
The Silver Wasp	A word about your wardrobe
Snowed In	Morning people shouldn't marry night people
The Go Go Bars	About encouraging your kids
The Missile Crisis	Don't mistake useless trivia for knowledge
Never Send A Man	Red talks about life before computers
Power Struggle	Telling a story as a couple
Mr. Possum Lake	How couples dress after ten years of marriage
Red and Breakfast	When your wife goes shopping with you
The Moosetrap	When your wife is disappointed in your gift
Stupid Cupid	Red talks about bald spots

Season 13

Episode	Story
You've Got Oil	Watch your language
The Drive-Thru	Reading ads in public restrooms
School Demo	Fantasizing about younger women
Change Will Do You Good	Moving into a smaller house once the kids are gone
The Earring	Red ran into an old friend who is "going great"
Mailbox Wars	If you've had a beard for years, don't think about shaving
The String Ball	Using your free time after you retire
The Spelling Bee	Why men draw so much attention to themselves
Pay It Forward	A word about men shaving their bodies
Possum Day	When the kids start asking about the inheritance
The Boat Ramp	When your looks start to go
Comrade Harold	The stages of life are like sandwiches
Spokesman Red	How a song can define a relationship
The Chain Letter	Thing started going bad when they invented automatic transmissions
The Women's Circle	Being on the wrong side of the "generation gap"
Ranger Harold	When your body doesn't obey your orders anymore
The Sinkhole	Not being the center of attention anymore

Season 14

Episode	Story
Red's Hot Sauce	Men own many different vehicles in their lifetime
Life Is a Circus	When you're too old to be playing sports
Once More to the Well	There are people out there much smarter (and younger) than you
The Statue	A word about your eating habits
False Idol	Older men should not be doing any wild dancing
Harold's One and Only	Recognize when it's too late to do something
The Grapes of Wrath	Women have higher expectations than we do
The Lodge Election	Love is not "never having to say you're sorry"
Ticket to Fame	Red has started losing things
Stay Tuned	Nostagia for the 80's
The Butter Man	Losing your excitement for the holiday season
Red Green Insurance	Brand new jeans with that "lived in" look
Lodge Luau	When you start needing glasses
Hoard of the Flies	Father and son businesses
A Shot in the Dark	When people turn to you for advice
Bye Bye Bonnie	Red talks to women about the changing needs of men in the bedroom
Fishy CANUSA Games	Advice for any couples who have been married a while
The Possum Drop	When you need to find a girlfriend for your wife

Season 15

Episode	Subject
Rules of Engagement	Red criticizes bloggers
The Folk Art Convention	The value of public relations
Mr. Clean	It never hurts to buy a gift for your significant other
No Tell Boatel	Why did I get into television?
Cell Hell	The value of arguing with your spouse
Cart Blanche	Great packaging and names can help sell things
New Yorkshire Puddings	Broadcasting poker on TV
Exit Stag Right	Older men and loose change
Mad You Say?	Leaving things till the last minute
No Place Like the Home	Needing more income
Flying Blind	The value of foresight
The Bigger the Better	"Men don't communicate"
The Big Retreat	Passing milestones
Rites of Passage	When teenage playboys get older
Sasquatch	Comedians don't tell jokes anymore
Rain Man	High-definition televisions
Love is in the Air	Nobody wants to listen to you anymore
Toe the Line	When you get crabby no one wants to be around you
Do As I Do	Saying goodbye