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2000 Season, Episode 209 (Transcript | Credits)
The Dandruff Foundation Ep. Guide No Duct Tape

Dalton has started a business raising emus and he persuades Red to help him.

Cast (in order of appearance): Red Green, Dalton Humphrey, Anne-Marie Humphrey (mentioned), Mike Hamar, Edgar Montrose, Winston Rothschild, Ranger Gord

DVD: Red Green: Stuffed and Mounted, Vol. 3; The Red Green Show – 2000 Season

Watch the episode on YouTube

DVD Commentary by Steve Smith[]

{from Stuffed and Mounted}

STEVE SMITH: Those of us who are lucky enough, honestly, to work on "The Red Green Show" manage to combine, I think, three things, three entertainment bits all in one. We're doing a television show, there's a bit of stand-up comedy to it, and it's also live theater. And all of those are happening simultaneously because we do them all in front of a live audience. And whenever those things all combine and kind of work, it's fun for everybody. And I think, in this show, if you look in the last scene, the closing, not the last scene of the show, but the closing scene where we're in the lobby and everything, and all those emus are at the window, you have to imagine all of our stagehand assistants here behind that window with at least one if not two emus on a stick in their hand, pecking the beaks against the window and then turning and facing Ranger Gord's tower and then eventually exiting. I mean, it may look funny the way we shot it, but it would've been way better if we had a camera back there with all these guys walking along. That's just, uh, part of the job experience right here at "The Red Green Show".

Segment Summary[]

See also: Transcript

Plot: Red complains that there is a big chicken on the loose. Dalton corrects him, telling him it's actually an emu. He is getting into the emu business, planning to mate his emu immediately. He convinces Red to join him as a partner. They soon get a second emu and both emus start fighting with each other. Dalton thinks they need to be more aggressive in their approach and get more emus. Eventually, however, they run into so much trouble with the emus that Red decides to just get rid of them. He gives them away to Ranger Gord, for whom, at the lodge meeting, he asks the men of the lodge to bow their heads in silent prayer.

Opening Scene: Red lights up a fire to burn off sewer gases coming out of a breather pipe, which also doubles as an Olympic torch, as a tribute to the continuum of the human spirit.

The Possum Lodge Word Game: Edgar tries to guess the word "fuse" to win a gift certificate to Big Al's Podiatry Clinic.

Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services: Winston brings his sewage business into an office building in the city.

Handyman Corner: Red makes a remote car starter out of an electric drill, a tire iron and a broom.

Midlife: Why it's not a good idea to ask friends for help on a project.

Ranger Gord's Educational Films: "Before the Fire", in which Gord travels through time to prevent a forest fire.

Red's Handyman Tips: Red says that all the leaves he had raked up he froze solid so he can cut them into a log shape and burn them in the fireplace. He searches the area for them, only to come across a manure pile.

Meet Your Member: Red interviews Mike, who had quite a colorful childhood. His mother was an exotic dancer and he had several fathers, although he is unsure which one was his biological father. He also literally had the neighborhood kids' toys.

Fun Facts[]


  • Mike claims to be the youngest of seven children in his family. But in The Good Old Hockey Game, he claims to have had a younger brother, who was 23 years old when their parents had their eighth anniversary.


  • The crowded sidewalk and office building entrance scene in Winston's first commercial was filmed on location at the King Street West entrance to the Stelco Tower in the downtown core of Hamilton, Ontario.
    • A Hamilton Street Railway city bus is also visible in the reflection of the revolving doors' glass as Winston enters the building.
  • This episode was made in honor of the 2000 Summer Olympics held in Sydney, Australia which could be an explanation on the topic of the Opening Scene and the plot.

Inside References[]

  • Mike was previously featured in a "Meet Your Member" segment in The Owl Project.

Real-World References[]

  • In the intro, Red's comment "It only takes a flick of your BIC" is a reference to the "Flick Your BIC" advertising slogan used by the BIC Company, whose primary products include pocket lighters.
  • In the first plot segment, Red makes multiple references to the Yum! Brands-owned fast-food chain Kentucky Fried Chicken, which was founded by Colonel Sanders, whose image continues to be used in KFC's logos to date.
  • Edgar's response in the Word Game in which he successfully says the word ("It's kinda like an offer you can't refuse!") is a reference to a famous, almost-identical line from the movie, The Godfather.
  • Winston's second slogan is a parody of the quote, "Love means never having to say you're sorry," from the novel and 1970 movie, Love Story.