The Chainsaw Races

Red schedules a series of chainsaw races without even knowing that Harold has scheduled to host a group of gifted children the same weekend.

Cast (in order of appearance):, , , , , , , , , , ,

DVD: The Red Green Show – 2001 Season

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Segment Summary
See also: Transcript

Plot: Red announces that the 2nd Annual Chainsaw Races would be taking place this weekend, but Harold informs him that the Intellectually Gifted Children's Club has booked the entire lodge for the same weekend. Harold also tells him that various programs have been planned for the children, such as vegetable cloning, Lord Hammer action figure-painting classes, and a chance to dress up as their favorite Star Trek alien character. Red tells Harold that he would've been more proud if he brought the children to the Chainsaw Races, but Harold declines, claiming that people are very intelligent and have low pain thresholds, but Red then says that the spectators would be safe since they would be held up in the dry riverbed at Rock Reef Point and that there would be no chance that anyone would get hurt. Later, Red practices for the Races, but takes out the lodge's entrance door. Harold them tells him that he would no longer be the promotion manager of the Possum Lake area if Red continued holding chainsaw races. Just then, a young boy named Thornton enters the lodge. Both he and Harold complain about the danger and environmental destruction that is sure to ensue. In the end, after the races have finished, Harold and Thornton show up with most of their pants all torn up in perfect strips, prompting Red to permanently cancel the Chainsaw Races. However, after the utter chaos of the race itself, Thornton found that he enjoyed himself immensely and eagerly attends the lodge meeting.

Opening Scene: Red uses a paint sprayer and a lawn sprinkler to quickly paint an entire room.

The Possum Lodge Word Game: Dalton tries to guess the word "early" to win Winston's new book, Dressing Yourself for Utter Morons.

Handyman Corner: Red constructs "the world's largest boom box" in a van to get revenge on motorists who play their car radios too loudly.

Red's Sage Advice: Learning lessons as a married man.

Untitled segment: Red, Dalton and Mike are pulled over for speeding.

Adventures: Red, Dalton, Walter and Winston build a children's area outside the lodge, but disaster then breaks out when Walter's nail gun goes out of control.

The Experts: Red, Dwight and Winston discuss skydiving tips.

Real-World References

 * The prize in the Word Game is a parody of the For Dummies books.
 * Red plays John Philip Sousa's "Washington March" on his boom box.