The Implosion

The Possum Lake Historical Society wants to deem the Lodge as a historical site, eventually resulting in its own Heritage Building being destroyed.

Cast (in order of appearance):, , , , ,

Segments: Red's Campfire Songs, The Possum Lodge Word Game, Handyman Corner, Red's Sage Advice, Men Anonymous, Adventures With Bill, If It Ain't Broke, You're Not Trying

DVD: The Red Green Show – 1997 Season

Transcript
{A title appears reading, "The New Red Green Show'' is duct taped in front of a live studio audience". Duct tape sounds are heard in the background.}''

Intro
HAROLD GREEN: It's The New Red Green Show! {laughs} And now, please help me welcome a man who believes charity should start at home, but not when he's home, your host, your hero, my uncle, Red Green!

{Red walks into the Lodge and waves as the audience cheers.}

RED GREEN: Thank you very much. Thank you. Kind of a frustrating week up at the Lodge this week. We got this historical society. The Possum Lake Historical Society thinks that everything should be the same as it was a hundred years ago. You know, I'll tell ya something: new is a lot of times better. You know the advertisers say, "New and improved." You don't hear, "Old and improved." Nothing ever gets old and improved. 'Cept you, Bernice. {gives a thumbs-up}

HAROLD GREEN: You know, actually, Uncle Red, what I think they're doing is a very good idea. I think it's great. It's preserving our heritage. Yeah, yeah, 'cause history's– history's an excellent teacher. If you want to clue into the future, look into the past.

RED GREEN: Oh, yeah? Well, Harold, if you want to clue into your future, look into the mirror. {to audience} This Historical Society, they've been calling me all week. I don't know what they want. Probably a donation. And for what? They're like a telethon without a disease, you know? {Harold pulls out a letter} I tell ya, I wouldn't give 'em a dime! I would not give 'em one dime.

HAROLD GREEN: Oh, you might change your mind.

RED GREEN: {looking at letter} What do you got there, Harold?

HAROLD GREEN: This?

RED GREEN: Yeah.

HAROLD GREEN: Oh, this! Oh, yes. This is the letter from the Historical Society with a proposal that the Lodge might be deemed as a historical location.

RED GREEN: {snatching letter from Harold} Oh, wow! All right! Now you're talking!

HAROLD GREEN: Yes, and so are you. What were you saying?

RED GREEN: Oh, uh, all right, if anybody from this Historical Society is watching, I certainly hope you didn't misunderstand some of my earlier comments, but if you'd let me finish, um, what I meant was, the Lodge here is a perfect place to spend your restoration dollars. And if you do happen to check your voice mail later and hear a message from me that includes the phrase, "Up yours with a wire brush," what I was– that was really talking about a certain kind of wire brush that the pioneers used. Uh, they wou– they often would clean... The old wire brush cleanings they would do on buildings, like the Lodge, which are our heritage. We inherited them.

HAROLD GREEN: How can you stand there and say things that don't have a shred of truth to them?

RED GREEN: Well, that's something that married people just do, Harold. {looks into camera} Except for us, Bernice! {gives a thumbs-up}

Title Sequence
''{"The New Red Green Show" intro plays. Cut to a shot of Red trying to fix Arnie's guitar with a belt sander, only to cause it go fly off the workbench.}''

RED GREEN: {voiceover} Here's a few scenes from this particular episode. If you haven't decided...

{Cut to a scene of Red wearing goggles and grabbing a roll of duct tape while some garden hose is on fire.}

RED GREEN: {voiceover} ...whether or not to watch it, we're hoping this'll kinda push you over the top on that.

''{Cut to a scene inside the Lodge. Red and Harold are burned and dirty, their clothes are tattered.}''

RED GREEN: {voiceover} We're gonna try and entertain you as long as we can. We even got something for you to drink!

''{Cut to the Possum Lodge Word Game about to start. Mike is the contest and Harold holds up the grand prize, which is...}''

HAROLD GREEN: Big bottle of cola!

Real-World References

 * During "Handyman Corner", Red says he watched the movie, Where Eagles Dare. This is a World War II-themed spy movie, released in 1968, directed by Brian G. Hutton, and featuring Richard Burton, Clint Eastwood and Mary Ure.