The Four-Man Raft

1992 Season, Episode 32

Murray & Duane make an interest business deal with Douglas.

Cast (in order of appearance):

Segments:

DVD: Infantile Years Disk 4

In The Lodge
(Harold & Murray are at the card table; Duane is roling large floating tube into the room; Douglas is on sofa; Red is on a chair and bill is standing in a corner)

''RED: O, is our raft here? (Douglas stands)''

MURRAY: Yeeeaahp!

DUANE: Where should I put it?

RED: How 'bout inside a large tire.

''MURRAY: Set it on the couch there, Duane. (Duane stes it on couch; ("raft" has tackle box duct taped to it))''

''DOUGLAS: That's a raft? That's your idea of a Four-Man Raft?''

''MURRAY: Yep. Murray's own brand. ''

''DOUGLAS: That's not a raft! That's a piece of, HOMEMADE CRAP! THAT'S A KINTERGARDEN SCIENCE PROJENT!''

RED: Well the duct tape's a nice touch.

''MURRAY: Heh. Enjoy, uh Douglas! Let's go Duane.''

DOUGLAS: Hold it Murray!

MURRAY: Hold it Duane.

DOUGLAS: I am not paying for this.

MURRAY: Huh ho, you already have, remember?

''DOUGLAS: Derrrrr I want a refund! WITH INTEREST!''

''MURRAY: Hwo wo! That's good I like that, but We have policy about returning items.''

''DOUGLAS: Oh? And what's that?''

MURRAY: WE DON'T!

''DOUGLAS: This is not a raft! A raft has a bow, and a stern!''

HAROLD: Well this one has lots of side.

DOUGLAS: HOW CAN YOU CALL THIS A "FOUR-MAN RAFT"?!?

RED : Well, maybe it's out of a 4X4.

DOUGLAS: How do you put the motor on?

''MURRAY: Well... ... it hangs in the middle there!''

''RED: (stands up) I'm real impressed, Murray. Callin' that a raft takes lots of guts.''

''DOUGLAS: (tone of voice darkens as Douglas gets really angry) Murray! If you value your reproductive abilities then you GET THIS outta here and veerrryy quickly give me back my money.''

''MURRAY: Your money? No nononono it's the lodge's money, Douglas. Let's go Duane.''

DUANE: Okay, Murray.

DOUGLAS: Hold it Murray!

''MURRAY: Forget it Douglas! Let's go Duane.''

DOUGLAS: Hold it, Duane!

DUANE: Okay Douglas lis-

MURRAY: Ignore him, Duane!

DUANE: Okay, Murray!

''DOUGLAS: (srceaming at the top of his lungs) NOONE MOVE!!!!!!! (Stabs raft with pen which pokes a hole, making air come out)''

''MURRAY & DUANE: Pretty to look at. Lovely to hold. But if You brake it, Consider it sold. ''

''DUANE: That's our creed, ya know! (they walk away)''