The Firewood Project

The lodge members decide to get into the "pick-your-own" business, selling firewood to gullible people from the city.

Cast (in order of appearance):, , , , , , , ,

DVD: Red Green Stuffed and Mounted, Vol. 4

Segment Summary
See also: Transcript

Plot: Red explains that Junior was offered 200 bucks for his pile of wood from a visiting pair, which inspires Red to get lodge members to sell firewood. Soon after, they bring out their axes and chainsaws to cut down the trees for their firewood business. When Harold questions his plan, Red plans on cutting fifty trees a day, using the 100-to-one ratio: for every hundred trees, they only cut down one. But soon, Red is concerned that things are not going according to plan, and so he decides to sell visitors an opportunity to cut down trees for their own firewood. But when they get no sales (except from one customer who was a convicted murderer), they quit the pick-your-own business and just continue with regular firewood sales after the summer visitors go home, at which time the lodge can "protect" their firewood for them.

Opening Scene: Red explains that men have a tendency to put everything in financial terms.

Red's Campfire Songs: The unfortunate tale of Trapper Jack.

Buddy System: Red and Dalton explain how to get away with making unkind remarks about your wife's arts and crafts.

Handyman Corner: Red demonstrates (with little success) how to split logs.

Visit With Ranger Gord: Gord gets Red to play an educational game about the forest.

Home Renovation Project: Red and Mike insulate a house with popcorn.

Adventures With Bill: Bill becomes a lumberjack.

Visit With Winston Rothschild: Winston is worried that Red's pick-your-own business will ruin Winston somehow.

Trivia

 * This is one of the few times where Red does not end his Handyman Corner segment with "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

Famous People

 * In the opening, Harold compares Red to Ricardo Montalban, while Red compares Harold to Hervé Villechaize. Montalban and Villechaize were the two main stars of the TV show Fantasy Island.