Life Cycle/Transcript

''The complete transcript for Life Cycle

The Possum Lodge Word Game
{Harold stands between Red and Mike Hamar at the card table.}

HAROLD GREEN: Time to play the Possum Lodge Word Game, and tonight's special guest is Mr. Mike Hamar. {Mike waves enthusiastically} Yeah. {picks up a package of beef} And Mike is playing for a special prize of five pounds of chopped beef! {opens lid and sees a note inside on the meat} Yeah! {takes note} It's supplied by Wally's butcher shop! Wally's included a little note here. {reads note} It reads, "If you come across a finger, you can keep it, but he would like the ring back." {slightly uneasy} Oh boy! {closes lid, puts package down and picks up word sign} ...Whoo! Okay! Uncle Red, you have thirty seconds to get Mr. Mike Hamar to say this word. {turns word sign around to audience, as Mike covers his ears; word is...} "Shopping". "Shopping".

RED GREEN: All right, Harold, yeah.

''{Harold sets the word sign down and steps back. Mike uncovers his ears.}''

HAROLD GREEN: Go!

RED GREEN: Alright, Mike, you need something, so you go down to the store and you go...

MIKE HAMAR: ...case the joint?

RED GREEN: No. {rubs nose} Okay. You go in, you pick up what you want, you go to the cash register. Now you are...

MIKE HAMAR: ...running?

RED GREEN: {waves hand back and forth} You know, uh, you see people in the mall? {pretends to hold several things in arms} They've got their arms full of purchases? They are...

MIKE HAMAR: {smiling} ...marks.

RED GREEN: {making a motion across chest} Let's go a different way, Mike. {Harold mimics Red's motion} You know those carts they have out in front of the grocery stores? You see them in the rack there? What are they called?

MIKE HAMAR: Mobile homes?

RED GREEN: {looks up} Okay. This is something people see as fun. They go into a mall and they go...

MIKE HAMAR: {smiling} ...panhandling?

RED GREEN: Okay, okay! But once you've panhandled for a while, you take the money, you go into the mall, and you make a purchase. You are...

MIKE HAMAR: {eagerly} ...in a liquor store?!

HAROLD GREEN: Almost out of time, Uncle Red.

RED GREEN: Okay, Mike! Stores, okay? {holds up a hand and points to each finger on it} You're not browsing, you're not panhandling, you're not shoplifting, you're not casing the joint. You are...

MIKE HAMAR: ...in custody? {Red shakes his head in disappointment} You know what I do, Mr. Green? I say, "Hey, officer, I wasn't doin' nothin' wrong, I was just shoppin'!"

RED GREEN: There you go! {leans forward to ring bell on table}

HAROLD GREEN: Hey!

{Mike makes triumphant gyrations with his arms and cheers as he picks up the package of beef and hugs it close to him.}

Red's Campfire Song
{Harold accompanies Red by clicking two spoons together.}

RED GREEN: {singing}
 * If you find yourself at the gates of Heaven,
 * And there doesn't seem to be anyone around...

HAROLD GREEN: {singing in falsetto} Nowhere...

RED GREEN:
 * It's probably just a final test to see if you're patient,
 * So don't just walk in and sit down.

HAROLD GREEN: Ah-haaa!