The Beaver Dam

The water in Possum Lake is rising and the cause of this dilemma is a beaver dam.

Cast (in order of Appearance):, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Segments: Red's Handyman Tips, The Possum Lodge Word Game, Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services, Handyman Corner, Red's Sage Advice, Dalton's House, Red's Visits with Possum Lodge Members, Adventures With Bill, That's What Friends Are For

DVD: Red Green: Stuffed and Mounted, Vol. 5; The Red Green Show – 2000 Season

DVD Commentary by Steve Smith
STEVE SMITH: One of the characters that I have probably the most fun with is Ranger Gord, played by Peter Keleghan. I just– I don't know, he just– he's been too alone for too long and too high in oh so many ways. And in this particular episode, I think we may have gone over the line where, instead of Ranger Gord waking up from a nap, he's actually coming out of hibernation. But we'll probably continue to push the envelope with good ol' Ranger Gord.

Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services
''{Winston steps up to a microphone on a stage in a theater. The screen displays the text, "Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services".}''

WINSTON ROTHSCHILD: {into microphone} I'm not a construction worker or a fisherman.

{The screen now displays a picture of an outhouse.}

WINSTON ROTHSCHILD: I don't live in the basement of an outhouse. {screen displays a goldfish, a frog and a hamster, in that order} I can't bring back your pet goldfish, frog or hamster. Actually, if I could get to him, you wouldn't want him anyway. {screen displays a septic truck} I operate a state-of-the-art septic removal vehicle... {screen displays a honeybee} ...not a honey wagon. {screen displays a jug of drain cleaner next to a drain} I believe an ounce of prevention is worth... {screen displays two men removing sewage} ...3,000 gallons of cure. {screen displays a snake hose} I work with a snake... {screen displays garter snake} ...not a snake! {screen displays a bald-headed man in a suit} Dad, if God had meant for me to be a lawyer, He would've given me more brains and a way better sense of smell.

''{The screen now displays Winston standing outside a building, wearing a graduate's cap over his helmet, and a diploma in his hand. A sign on the building reads, "Congratulations, graduates, Big Ed's Polyseptic Institute, class of '80".}''

WINSTON ROTHSCHILD: I'm Winston Rothschild, III, and I suck sewage! Thank you.

{Winston steps off the stage.}

Red's Sage Advice
RED GREEN: Wanna talk to you all you guys out there who learned your social skills by watching the WWF. I'm bettin' about now your wife is bugging you to get better manners. That's not a big problem. Manners are not very complicated at all. You want to have good manners? Just take something that you wanna do fast and do it slow. Or say the exact opposite of what you mean. In other words, lie through your teeth so you don't lose 'em. But you won't have to do that for long, because society dictates the rules of etiquette, and as society changes, so do the rules. Remember how rude you were as a kid? Look at the kids today. They're ten times worse! Think how bad it's gonna get in twenty years! No matter how rude you are now, if you live long enough, the masses will work their way down to your level. So the next time your wife criticizes you for slurping your soup, you just say, "Honey, I'm not rude, I'm just ahead of my time." But be polite about it; don't say it out loud. Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.

Explanations

 * Winston's line, "I believe an ounce of prevention is worth 3,000 gallons of cure," refers to a quote by Benjamin Franklin: "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

Real-World References

 * "WWF" are the initials for World Wrestling Federation.