Bottled Water

When a bootlegger is arrested, Possum Lodge takes over his still to make his window-washing fluid.

Cast (in order of appearance):, , , , , , , , ,

Segment Summary
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Opening Words: Women value free spirits. Men bottle them.

Plot: Jimmy Grissel, a man who had been on the wanted list for some time, has now been arrested for bootlegging. The moonshine was only good for keeping windshields clean. In response, Red decides to start his own distillery. He just wants some windshield cleaner, but does not want to degrade himself by buying anything from Humphrey's Everything Store, which now owns it. Red convinces a reluctant Harold to take part in the activity. Red then gets all the bottles from the last illegal distillery, while Junior brings his mom's car. The men brew it in the lodge kitchen, former haunt of Eddie Johnson. They try to distill their moonshine through the engine of the car, but something goes terribly wrong. It blows the car out into the woods. They then try to use the bottles for spring water from the spring at Possum Hill, but get very little business. The only two crates they sell are to the disease testing club at the university in Port Asbestos. They then try to bottle Possum Hill air with the empty bottles and market it to Los Angeles, only to be rejected, because it smelled funny (Los Angeles being one of the most polluted cities in the U.S). In the end, Red trades the bottles for twelve gallons of windshield washer from Dalton.

Adventures With Bill: Bill and Red install an above-ground pool to supply water for the still.

Red's Campfire Songs: A canoe, one of the fastest watercraft around.

Handyman Corner: Red makes a "hoochanoid", a robot that runs on booze.

Midlife: Don't date your ex-girlfriend.

Visit with Hap Shaughnessy: Hap tells Red that he had invented nursery rhymes.

The Possum Lodge Word Game: Bob tries to guess the word "promise" to win a prize yet to be determined.

Buddy System: Red and Dougie explain how to avoid trouble when you don't pick up your dirty clothes.

The Experts: Dalton explains what to do with a car that is damaged beyond repair.