Biosphere Three/Transcript

The complete transcript for Biosphere Three

Title sequence
''{"The Red Green Show" intro plays. After introducing the characters, the scene cuts to a shot of Harold standing in another room of the lodge, holding his switcher.}''

RED GREEN: {voiceover} This is Red Green. In today's show, Harold has a surprise for me...

{Cut to a shot of Bill, wearing a bathing suit and flippers, walks up to a homemade outdoor shower.}

RED GREEN: {voiceover} Bill's gonna make an outdoor shower...

{Cut to a shot of Red folding a stepladder in and out quickly like a Thighmaster.}

RED GREEN: {voiceover} And I'm gonna show you how to exercise using a stepladder.

''{Cut to an exterior shot of the lodge. Several gunshots appear in the screen, then one last gunshot shatters the screen outward.}''

Intro
{The camera walks out from a back room and looks at several items before arriving in the main lodge room, while Harold introduces the show.}

HAROLD GREEN: Shakespeare wrote that brevity is the soul of wit, and that's true. And to prove that brevity and soul and wit all go together, here's a short, funny guy, my uncle, your host, Red Green!

''{Red walks into the lodge and waves as the audience cheers. Harold excitedly gestures toward his uncle.}''

HAROLD GREEN: Uncle Red! Yeah! It's Uncle Red! It's Uncle Red! It's Uncle Red!

''{Red steps up close to the camera and waves the applause down. The applause stops.}''

RED GREEN: Thank you. Thank you very much. {looks to Harold} And, uh, thank you, Harold, for that classy intro. I... I take it your English class is still studying the Bard of Avon?

HAROLD GREEN: Well, she sold some eye makeup and some face cream to my mum.

RED GREEN: {confused} The Bard of Avon, Harold?

HAROLD GREEN: {realizing now} Oh! {giggles} I thought you said, "Barb from Avon." I'm sorry.

RED GREEN: Shakespeare, Harold.

HAROLD GREEN: Oh, yeah! {walks up close to Red} Yeah, we're studying Hamlet in school. Yeah, I get to be Hamlet. I think he's the star, you know, unless it's one of those weird titles that's, like, {reaches hand out} way out there. Y'know, sorta like Fried Green Tomatoes, I dunno. {giggles; Red nods} But I'm gonna jazz it up. I'm gonna add some pizzazz to it. You know, like this!

''{Harold plays his switcher. A shot of him and Red is shown spinning and flashing various colors as it flies over the lake.}''

HAROLD GREEN: Haw!

RED GREEN: Well, that ought to do it, Harold. You know, uh, you quoting Shakespeare... {unfolds a piece of paper in his hand} I carry a little Shakespearean quote around with me.

HAROLD GREEN: Oh, yeah?

RED GREEN: It's from, uh, Midsummer Night's Dream. {reads from piece of paper} "A local habitation and a name. Such tricks have strong imagination."

HAROLD GREEN: So true, isn't that?

RED GREEN: Yeah.

HAROLD GREEN: Wonder what it means.

RED GREEN: {shakes head} No idea.

HAROLD GREEN: I'm sorry. You go ahead, Uncle Red.

RED GREEN: Oh, thank you. I was just gonna tell everybody about that plan we got to do: Biosphere 3.

HAROLD GREEN: Oh, yeah, yeah, right. That's good. That's like Biosphere 2?

RED GREEN: Yeah.

HAROLD GREEN: That's that experiment those environmentalists did in the American desert, right, where they-they built this sealed-up, completely enclosed world. It's like a giant greenhouse or something!

RED GREEN: {to Harold} Yeah, yeah, that's right. {to camera} So, we've got the–

HAROLD GREEN: {interrupting} So, you know what they did? {Red hangs his head in frustration} They got lots of important scientific information from that, {holds up index finger} but more importantly, they got lots of money, too. {giggles}

RED GREEN: Yeah. So our plan is for–

HAROLD GREEN: {interrupting again} So, Uncle Red and all the guys, you know what they're gonna do? {laughs as Red looks at Harold in frustration, hands on hips} They're gonna, like, completely... completely enclose Possum Lodge! Haw! They're gonna put plastic over this whole mess! {gives a thumbs-up} Try and tap into those government funds, you know? {giggles}

RED GREEN: So you're gonna be Hamlet, are you, Harold?

HAROLD GREEN: Yeah.

RED GREEN: Hamlet dies, doesn't he?

{Harold stares in silence as he realizes what his uncle is trying to say.}

HAROLD GREEN: Yes, but not until after he kills his uncle. {raises his eyebrows at Red}

RED GREEN: Ah.

Red's Campfire Song 1
{Red plays guitar and Harold accompanies him by clicking two spoons together.}

RED GREEN:
 * Wherever you go,
 * I'm going with you.
 * Whatever you do,
 * I'll do it, too.
 * Whenever you move,
 * I'm moving with you,
 * 'Cause we've had an unfortunate accident
 * Involving a very powerful industrial glue.

Handyman Corner
''{The "Handyman Corner" title appears. The camera pans through another part of the lodge, where Red is standing next to a bunch of stepladders.}''

RED GREEN: This week on "Handyman Corner," we're gonna show you a bunch of things you can do with a little twinge of imagination and some stepladders. Now, if you don't have any stepladders, I guess you could pork a few from a construction site. Or you could just take, uh, normal ladders and, uh, duct-tape the tops together. That'll work, too. {holds up a long piece of wood} Okay, the first project I want to show you is some of these split rails. Uh, you can get these by just, uh, pulling them off the back of a lumber truck when he's idling at a long traffic light. You get a few of these, and you run them right between your ladders. {puts this split rail in between two of the ladders, which have split rails on other steps already} Nothing to it. And what you got there is a little split-rail fence with two gates. If you live in one of them townhouse developments now, you get everybody to chip in a stepladder, you can have one long, continuous fence with everybody having their own gate where their kids can run right out onto the road. And speaking of kids, if you got a piece of pipe down in the basement or whatever, {picks up a long piece of pipe} or out in the garage or... maybe you don't smoke a pipe, but find something, {puts the pipe on top of two other ladders} stick that between your ladders, hang your jumper cables on there, {the pipe is revealed to have a pair of jumper cables clamped down on it} and you got yourself a dandy backyard swing for the kiddies. And in the wintertime now, you could, uh, run twelve volts through the jumpers. And, uh, it won't kill you or nothing, just, uh, give you enough of a hum to take the chill off. Or you could even hook up to the 120 house current and use it as a dandy electrical fence. I think the kids would have a heck of a time with this, you know? {sits down in the loop in the cables for the swing} This brings back...

{Unfortunately, Red is much too heavy for the jumper cables to hold him, and he weighs it down, bending the ends of the pipes up, much to his surprise and disappointment.}

RED GREEN: I think I'm gonna wreck the pole!

''{Red falls down on the ground. Wipe to a later scene. Red has duct-taped a drill to one of the stepladders.}''

RED GREEN: Now, appearances can be deceiving. This is not just an old, crappy stepladder, a wad of duct tape, and an old drill. This happens to be a high-precision vertical drill press.

''{Red lifts up the ladder and pushes down on a foot press, which activates the drill, which whirs. He then pushes the ladder up and down to simulate the drill in action. He then lets go of the ladder, and it drops down. He then releases the foot press, and the drill stops whirring.}''

RED GREEN: Beautiful. {walks over to the other end of this ladder, near the top} Or you could use this section up in here to, say, {opens ladder} crack walnuts or {closes and opens ladder repeatedly} lobster claws or even break the football helmet off the fat kid. {lets go of this ladder, which drops down, then picks up another stepladder} Or, if you got a stepladder, and, uh, you say you got a son who's got a couple of bungee cords on his bike rack... {opens up this stepladder, revealing some bungee cords tied to both ends of the ladder} you hook the bungee cords up, {opens and closes this ladder in and out repeatedly like a Thighmaster} and you got yourself one of them exerciser Thighmasters. But I'd... not advise for anybody with a big nose... Or other... {drops this ladder} other larger options. And here's something else you can use. {knocks over another stepladder on its side} A portable pen. You just take the stepladder like this {gestures toward wall} and put her up against a wall or a fence, and, uh, you can put your kid in there, or a dog, or stray cattle, or what have you. They're not gonna go anywhere. {walks through the open legs of this stepladder up to another stepladder, which is opened up and sitting upside-down} Another interesting use of a stepladder is, uh, flip her upside down. It'll help you put the drywall on your ceiling. You mount the whole thing like that, {takes a sheet of drywall and puts it on top of this ladder} put your drywall up on top of the four legs, like so. Now you put the whole... {struggles to peek up over the drywall} you put the whole rig onto a hydraulic jack, or Moose Thompson, whatever's handier, and then you just jack the whole thing up against the ceiling, and then go get yourself another ladder and carry your vertical drill press up with you, and you can just screw the drywall right into the ceiling. And it's just that easy.

''{Wipe to a later scene. Red is standing near the top of a stepladder and nailing a board, wider than the platform it's on, to the top. A second board has already been put on top of another stepladder.}''

RED GREEN: 'Course, now, the best use of a stepladder is a ladder that saves you steps. {gets back down} So, let's say you got to go up somewhere real high, and you don't have a real big ladder. Well, you don't need a real big ladder. All you need is more stepladders. {walks up to second stepladder with step on it} See, you take your two stepladders. You put them together, put an extra board on the top to get a little extra width, {awkwardly picks up a third ladder with a board on it} with take your third ladder, put that up on top of the other two.

''{Grunting with the effort, Red tries to lift this ladder up on top of the other two. After much grunting and straining, and trying to keep the ladder from scissoring shut, he succeeds in getting this ladder on top of the other two.}''

RED GREEN: And that's a lot easier than getting a big ladder. {looks up to view his handiwork} I think this is what Michelangelo used when he did the Sistine Chapel. Now you're up twice as high. If you want to go up three times as high, uh... {tries to think} you need, uh, three ladders and... I guess about thirty ladders. {glances off slightly off to the side briefly} Oh, six. Okay, six ladders. You want to go up four times as high, you'd need, uh... Uh, you'd need scaffolding. Okay, well, I guess that's about it for stepladders, so, 'til next time, remember: if the women don't find you handsome, {adjusts pants} they should at least find you handy. {looks up at ladders} Time to hit the wild blue yonder. {starts climbing up} Ooh, boy. A little shaky, but all right. Oh, boy, I don't know. Whoa, whoa, whoa... {finishes climbing all the way up to the top} Uh-oh! Gravity! {falls down to the ground with a crash}

The Experts
{Harold stands in the lodge basement beside a table.}

HAROLD GREEN: And now, it's that part of the show where we expose the three little words that men just find so difficult to say: "I don't know." {"The Experts" title appears, as Red and Hap emerge from behind a door in the back and enter into the room} And here are my guests on "The Experts" segment today: of course, uh, my uncle Red, and... Oh! {giggles} Hap Shaughnessy.

''{Red and Hap wave, Hap tipping his hat to the applauding audience. They all sit around the table. Harold picks up a letter.}''

HAROLD GREEN: Here's letter number one. {reads} "Dear Experts, Although I have a degree in both economics and political science and have won many friendly games of 'I'm Way Smarter Than You Are', I have never really understood how computers work. Can you explain?"

RED GREEN: {to Hap} Hap?

HAP SHAUGHNESSY: No, go ahead.

RED GREEN: {clears throat} Well, uh, a computer's a very simple thing.

HAP SHAUGHNESSY: {interrupting} Yeah, there's nothing to it. {Red stares at Hap}

RED GREEN: Yeah. Mainly, you have your computer programs, which are on the disks, and the disks go into the computer, and they're– they're spun around there by a... a type of an electric drill. And that's flying around in there so that your software high-density database units come spinning right off the disk and ram right up against your TV screen. And that allows you to print stuff off, and you can get graphs, which will show you exactly how much money you're gonna lose next year.

HAP SHAUGHNESSY: Yeah, well, I better clarify that a bit, I think. But to do that, I have to go back as far as the old Morse code that I used during WW2, when I had to let my squad know that I'd captured this enemy battalion singlehandedly. But I– I had to decline the medal {points over his left shoulder} because there wasn't enough room left on the tunic anymore. They were disappearing over the shoulder. But, uh, where Morse code was dots and dashes, computers are ones and zeros, or bits and bytes, or I.s and B.M.s. {sticks finger out} And they got– and they got this little Japanese robot inside the CPU, {makes tapping motion with outstretched finger} and he's going like that to beat the band.

{Red and Harold stare at Hap, who vigorously makes the tapping motion in an attempt to convince them.}

Harold's Segment
''{The camera pans through another area of the lodge where Harold stands, holding his switcher. His segment plays briefly as the word "Handyman's" appears, but another word, "teen", slides down and replaces "-man" to become "Handyteen's". This is followed by the word "Corner" appearing underneath.}''

HAROLD GREEN: This week on "Handyteen Corner," we're gonna build stuff to impress the girls in your school. {giggles} Now, in my experience, women like to make the move on guys who have a lot of electrical equipment. {giggles} But you know, video and audio equipment costs major dollars, and if all you got is, like, your allowance, or even worse, you know, a paycheck from your uncle, then, you know, the handy teen's gonna have to be creative. {laughs} So, firstly, let's build a fake Walkman out of {takes two items off a worktable...} a piece of black wood and some black string. {giggles} No, no, it's not gonna work or anything. But look! You just– You just plug it in, right? {plugs a pair of ear buds into wood block, then puts them in his ears} And then, you know, you sing, like, a popular song along with it, and who's gonna be the wiser, you know? {dances and sings slightly} Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam... {as a passersby} Oh, look, that guy's wearing a Walkman! Who knows that it doesn't work? I certainly don't! {sings inaudibly some more, then speaks normally again as he takes out ear buds} But you know, it's like that. You could do that, right? So, to get started, what we're gonna need, of course, is the handy teen's secret weapon... {holds up a roll of duct tape} Haw! Duct tape. Okay.

{Suddenly, as Harold removes some duct tape, he is interrupted by Red's voice coming from behind the closed door.}

RED GREEN: Harold? Harold!

{Harold laughs nervously as the doorknob turns.}

HAROLD GREEN: Next week, I'll show you how to build a lock for your room. {laughs as he starts pulling off the duct tape again}

RED GREEN: {impatiently} Harold!

HAROLD GREEN: So we just tape it right up–

RED GREEN: HAROLD!!

''{In a rage, Red smashes the door down, startling Harold, who turns to see his uncle storming, looking quite irritable. He looks around.}''

RED GREEN: What's going on here, Harold?

HAROLD GREEN: Well, it's my part of the show, and you said if I come up with an original idea–

RED GREEN: {incredulously} Original, Harold? "Handyteen Corner"?! {grabbing Harold's duct tape} A handy teen's secret weapon?!

''{Red spots some extension outlets hanging by a cord from the ceiling. He unplugs them all in one hand and throws them on the ground. He then glares at Harold.}''

HAROLD GREEN: {looking into camera} Remember, if the cheerleaders don't find you handsome, at least they should ask you to do their homework for them. {giggles}

Red's Teen Talk
{Red walks around outside the lodge in a yellow slicker.}

RED GREEN: Now, I know a lot of you teenagers feel you have to rebel and be obnoxious and embarrass your parents at restaurants, but that's just a normal part of growing up, whereas getting a tattoo is stupid. A tattoo is basically a liquid sliver. And the liquid is permanent ink. Getting a tattoo is kind of like sucking on a pen with your whole body. And it's painful. There's only two things more painful than getting a tattoo, the first one being getting two tattoos, and the second one is getting either of them removed. Now, I know there may be some appeal in having "Guns n' Roses" tattooed on your butt, but sixty years from now, in the middle of your hemorrhoid operation, you're gonna find out why it's not a good idea to get your surgeon laughing.

Visit With Reg Hunter
{Reg has set up a small campfire with a pot cooking over it as Red walks up.}

REG HUNTER: Hey, hello, Red! I figured once the smell of this started wafting across the lake, you'd show up.

RED GREEN: Yeah? I mean, we thought every jogger in the world was taking their shoes off at exactly the same moment.

REG HUNTER: Ah, you can't fool me, Red. I know you'd just love to wrap yourself around a bowl of my special chowder.

RED GREEN: Well, maybe sometime, Reg, but unfortunately, you've caught me on a day when I'm not starving to death. What is in there, anyway? Is that skunk?

REG HUNTER: No! No meat, Red! I don't eat meat. I'm a hunter, not a barbarian. {stirs what's in the pot with a ladle} Nope, Red, what you got here is cabbage, beet root, brussels sprouts, broccoli, and a big, yellow turnip. You soak them all in vinegar until your eyes water so bad, you can't tie your shoes. Then you bring the whole deal to a boil for a day and a half, and then pour it into explosion-proof containers. {takes out ladle to taste the stuff} Mmm! If I had eaten this healthy back in the law firm, I'd have been able to handle twice the caseload.

RED GREEN: Well, you would have gone through a lot more suits, that's for sure. Now, listen, Reg. We're doing this biosphere thing up at the lodge, and I thought maybe you might have some legal tips, you know, before we all kinda bunk in together like that.

REG HUNTER: Oh-ho-ho! You have to be very careful there, Red. You should really draw up a contract going in that explains how problems will be dealt with. My niece ran into one of these deals, and she came out with a bunch of new friends and a brand-new baby.

RED GREEN: Golly! How long was she in there?

REG HUNTER: Well, the biosphere programs are always for a minimum of two years less a day, Red.

RED GREEN: {stunned} Two years?! My wife isn't gonna let me be away for two years. She says I can either be away for the odd weekend here and there, or I can be away all the time forever. But nothing in between!

REG HUNTER: Oh, sure. My wife went for Plan B. But I don't blame her. {Red hangs his head as he tries to process this news} You know, I think she'd like me better now. But she's off in Europe with that tennis instructor, so she has no idea what she's missing.

Plot Segment 3
WORK IN PROGRESS; NEEDS HUMAN REVIEW

"it is winter.

"I come home late

from the office christmas party.

"she is angry at the smell

of garlic on my breath.

She knows I don't eat garlic,

but my secretary does."

when you're in a biosphere,

you get lonely,

so I thought I'd talk

to the expert on that subject.

Gord?

You asleep?

Oh! Fire! Fire!

Gord, gord, no!

Gord, gord!

Fire!

Gord, gord,

it's just us.

Oh, great.

Visitors.

This is great.

Oh, wonderful.

You know, if it weren't

for your visits,

I'd probably go

totally wacko.

Blp-blp-blp-blp!

Yeah, that's good.

I'm glad to hear that.

Yeah, thanks to you, I'm still

clinging on to my sanity.

You know...

[ grunting ]

yeah.

Uh, gord, we're doing a kind of

biosphere thing up at the lodge,

and I thought maybe

you could give us a few tips

on, uh, you know,

how to live in isolation.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, well, you know,

the thing to remember

is that mind and body

aren't separate,

so, you know, if, uh --

if you were to hit your head

really, really hard

against that tree or

a ranger station or something,

you know, they're one.

So, you know,

to keep the mind active,

you got to keep the body fit,

you know?

So, you know,

you must, you must,

you must increase

the bust.

[ air whistles ]

[ glass shatters ]

you know, you get a new mirror

put on that van,

and send me the bill.

I'll do that.

You might want to

hand deliver it, though,

'cause, you know, the mail

rarely gets through here.

I'm sorry.

No, that's all right.

I'll take my chances

on the mail delivery.

Thanks anyway, gord.

Well, this biosphere 3 thing

is coming together pretty good,

although nobody was willing

to make a commitment

until moose thompson

promised to wear pajamas.

You know,

I don't think that you guys --

well, okay,

let me rephrase that.

Do you guys really think

that you're gonna pack

everything that

you're gonna need?

[ laughs ]

'cause I don't.

Well, harold,

I don't really care --

no, no,

let me rephrase that.

Nobody in their right mind

would care what you think,

harold.

So, the guys are gathering up

all the essentials,

and they all realize they're

gonna need their own space.

Uncle red, do you really realize

what's required of all this?

You know, it's going to be

an enclosed space.

I mean, you got to be

completely self-sufficient.

Nothing goes in,

nothing come out.

Yeah, harold,

we know how the deal works.

We're gonna make all our own

food and beverages.

The only problem

we're having --

we can't figure out

how to make chip dip.

I don't know.

I hope you realize you got to

dispose of your own waste, too.

Well, thanks anyway,

but we're gonna keep trying

for the chip dip.

I don't know.

I really don't think

this is gonna work.

It's gonna work fine.

These are very simple guys.

A lot of these guys can live

for two weeks

on a couple of comic books

and a bottle opener.

Uncle red,

I know these guys.

Come on.

There's gonna be arguments.

There's gonna be

fistfights.

There's gonna be, like,

tag-team texas death matches.

Wa-a-a!

I don't think there will be

any arguing or fighting,

'cause, of course,

harold won't be there.

Oh, no, no, no, no,

I will not be there.

You're gonna forget

something.

If we forget something,

we'll just borrow it

before we go in there.

"neither a borrower

nor lender be."

shakespeare said that.

Shut up, harold.

The whole world

is saying that.

[ spoons and guitar playing ]

♪ up at the lodge ♪

♪ the men are full ♪

♪ of beer and themselves ♪

♪ and bravado and bull ♪

♪ they don't take no guff ♪

♪ they don't settle for less ♪

♪ so, thank god for women ♪

♪ or we'd be

in one hell of a mess ♪

[ laughs ]

I said "hell."

[ laughs ]

[ film projector clicking ]

red: Look out, look out,

look out, look out, look out!

[ tires screech ]

bill's here.

Now, bill said he had kind of

a surprise for every --

a surprise for me this week.

Anyway,

he wanted to make something.

And, oh, yeah.

And he'd gone down to --

they got "swiss family robinson"

playing at the possum theater

in town.

I don't go to the show.

I just cry at the movies.

And that's just

when I buy my ticket.

But, yeah, kind of

a sprinkler there,

and some hoses and some

hockey sticks, some canvas.

Got a bicycle rim.

Got an old pump off the farm

there, and --

I'll put that --

that'll be fine, I guess.

And I don't know what he had

in mind, so he's...

No, bill.

He's breaking it.

Oh, I see. Okay.

He's breaking the illegal curve,

I guess, on that one.

And then he wanted me

to hold that, and -- no!

No, no, no.

Don't like --

yeah, this is a better idea.

I'll do the -- I'd rather be

a hammer than a garfunkel.

And then he wrapped the canvas

around the, uh,

around the hockey sticks

and duct-taped them.

And one hockey stick

we had up high,

and then we put the sprinkler

on there.

I'm starting to get an idea now.

The hose is hooked up

to the pump,

so what's gonna happen

is that whatever's in the pump

is gonna go around the hose,

up the thing, and out the...

And I think what --

yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought so.

It's a shower type thing.

But I'm saying, "where's

the water gonna come from?"

you got to have water

going into the pump

before you can have water

coming out of the pump.

But here again, the old swiss

family robinson influence --

he's gonna -- no, bill.

Nobody wants -- oh, yeah.

All right. All right.

All right.

It's a rain barrel.

Yeah, that'll be fine.

That's good.

Now you need something

to make the pump go around.

The pump's got to spin, bill.

You just kind of turn that by --

no, no.

Well, he had jacked up

not only the price of this car,

but, actually,

the whole back end,

and he took the tire off,

and he put just a rim on there.

Now, what's going on there?

Oh, I see.

What he's thinking there

is he can use that as a drive --

a drive wheel.

Got an old fire hose there,

and -- yeah, okay.

This is like a power takeoff

on the old john deere.

Nothing takes off like a deere.

And so I wrapped the fire hose

around there,

and what's gonna happen,

I guess,

is that when you start her up

and put her in gear

and what have you,

the wheel's gonna spin,

which is gonna move the --

yeah, all right.

It's gonna drive the pump,

gonna pump the water

from the rain barrel

out into the hose

and out the sprinkler.

So he said to me, okay,

he's gonna get ready

to take a shower.

Let me start her up here.

And she's --

[ engine turns over ]

oh, there you go.

She's running good.

Oh, bill, you're gonna spook

the horses there.

Wow.

He wants me to put her

into gear,

and, you know, it's unfortunate

he'd forgotten

one little detail.

That baby

is a front-wheel drive.

Oh, that's unfortunate,

isn't it?

You know, anybody who puts

that much work and ingenuity

into something deserves

a shower, don't you think?

Well...

Soon as everybody found out

this biosphere 3 thing

was a two-year commitment,

that pretty well kiboshed

the whole deal.

I mean, we all get along

pretty well,

but two years is 730 days,

or more importantly,

730 nights.

That's 98,000 meals

and six laundry days.

Somebody would get hurt,

guaranteed.

You know, uncle red,

it's too bad we can't treat

the earth like a biosphere --

always being careful not to

take out more than we put in.

Well, we could start

by burying you.

Just saying we should respect

the biosphere that we have.

And will the government pay us

to do that, harold?

Wa!

No.

See, there's a problem

right there.

See, they got their priorities

all completely screwed up

down there, you know?

I would be happy to save the

planet for the next generation

if there was any money

in it.

[ screeching ]

oh, that --

it's meeting time.

It's meeting time.

Here we go.

Yeah, you go ahead, harold.

I'll be right down.

Oh, kay-o.

I'm sure he means well,

but who cares?

Anyway, if my wife is watching,

I'll be coming straight home

after the meeting.

I might be a bit late,

but I'll still be two years

earlier than I thought I'd be.

And to the rest of you,

on behalf of myself and harold

and the whole gang

up here at possum lodge,

thanks for watching,

and keep your stick on the ice.

[ screeching ]

all rise.

All:

Quando omni flunkus, moritati.

Red:

All right, have a seat.

All right,

I know a lot of you

had your heart set

on the biosphere thing,

and I just, uh --

I'm sorry it didn't work out.

Aw. Aw.

Aw. Aw.